would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
fuck your aforementioned shoe
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
