none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
