After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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