no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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