break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
