The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
