I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
the day after is always just damage control
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
You took a bar mat shot.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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