fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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