I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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