He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
