We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
