This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
they call him Oral-B. enough said
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
