My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
