It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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