weddingsv make me drug and hornr
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
