She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
