Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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