I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
