The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
