worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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