I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
