Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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