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i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
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