i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"