We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
You pole danced in your parka.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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