I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize