I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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