i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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