I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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