Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
