May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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