if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
