Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
