i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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