I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Randomize
