I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
