he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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