I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I have demons in me.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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