East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
