I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Randomize
