I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Randomize
