I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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