porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I wish they made helmets for livers.
it's like iHOP with fire
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
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