no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
