oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
