im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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