Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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