I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
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I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
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Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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