I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
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