chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
