Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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