this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
