The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
