I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
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The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
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Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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