Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Randomize
