I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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