At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.