No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
How does one acquire holy water?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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